Before your Angry Spouse, Boss Strike, Kill, Anger Management Tips for You

 

Why Anger is Banana Peels for Successful Men, Women + Takehomes from Nigeria’s Code of Conduct Tribunal Chairman, Bank CEO’s Public Rage

Anger is Banana Peels on Ways for everyone who plans to or who has attained greatness. It destroys reputation and relationships built over years asides that it leads to murder by spouses who hitherto professed move for eachother. Emotional Intelligence expert, Dr. Stella Ahunanya, who leads the latest Platforms Africa e-Discourse on Anger Control, has some words for you reading this.

What is Anger?

Anger is one of the most common and one of the most destructive emotion known by mankind. According to Thomas (1993), it is a strong feeling of displeasure in response to specific provocation and a direct consequence of stress. It takes the form of emotional upset.

Why do people react differently to same variables?

One’s temperamental makeup plays a key role on how we react to same variable! Sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and melancholic personalities will react differently to the same variables. Also the level of chronic anxiety in the family and the amount of stress being experienced at a given time.

Are there statistics to show that people from some race, colour or ethnic groupings have more tendencies to be be angry easily than others? Do Africans get easily angry than others?

Not at all, no race is angrier than another as anger is situational and not tied to race, ethnicity, culture, gender or religion.

Let me get this through before l forget. Over the past few weeks, murder of wives has gone up in Ghana. Some say it is due to Covid-19, can there be a truth in this? It has also been suggested that these murders were a result by anger induced by COVID-19.

Zimbabwe Bank CEO physically assaults his wife

Very likely Sir but will need a psychological and psychiatric investigation. Stressors that lead to anger can be triggered when you stay close to people that make you angry and if you can’t walk away to cool off, then there is likelihood of going to the extreme.

Why is it necessary to pay attention to anger management?

Anger if not controlled is mostly destructive at personal, communal and national levels. So at all levels, there is need to pay attention to Anger Management.

Though anger cut across people of different class, colour and race, it becomes more noticeable and condemnable when expressed by men or women in high places. Is there any link between men or women of affluence and anger?

There is no scientifically proven link between people of affluence and anger. Anger is personal and situational. Some affluent people are in control of their emotions and rarely show anger in public.

An MD of a bank in Zimbabwe became a subject of public discussion and ridicule when his 16 year-old daughter filmed him assaulting his wife of many years. A code of conduct tribunal head in Nigeria was also ridiculed after he was filmed when he publicly assaulted a security man. Why should men or women of honour be careful?

People of honor are on a pedestal with others looking up to them as guides, role models and mentors so any character flaw on their part will negatively affect those that look up to them. They must learn to manage their emotions by becoming emotionally intelligent especially when in leadership position.

What are the lessons to learn from these two scenarios?

The basic lesson for everyone to learn is that anger must be managed if not, it can destroy reputation and relationships built over years. It will result to loss of respect and regard from social point of view.

Pix 1: Nigerian wife, Fatima Sanda (left) sentenced for killing husband. Pix 2: the convict with the baby produced from her marriage with slained husband

What are the causes of anger? Can bad economic situation lead to anger?

Anger is caused basically by selfishness, weakness of character, losing of patience, feeling of not being appreciated and injustice in any form.

One becomes angered as he/she believes someone has violated their rights or has done something against them. It can be expressed in form of bitterness, malice, clamour, envy, resentment, intolerance, revenge, criticism, wrath, hatred, sedition, jealousy, attack, gossip, sarcasm, unforgiveness etc.

A hungry man is an angry man. Any bad economic situation will create stressors that will trigger anger across the land for those who are not emotionally intelligent.
What are the effects of anger on its bearers?

The effects of anger on its bearers are unquantifiable! Emotionally, one loses control of good sense and end up making costly decisions.

CCT Chairman and scene of assault

Physically, it produces stress which leads to medical disorders such as ulcers, high blood pressure, headaches etc. Treatment of these conditions can cost thousands of naira in medical bills, financially.  Socially, an angry man is not pleasant to be with as most times, they are bitter, resentful and unbearable.

Spiritually, God that created you wants you to be happy and most religion view anger as sin so anger separates one from the presence of God.

What are the practical steps in managing anger?

The effects of anger on its bearers are unquantifiable!

Emotionally, one loses control of good sense and end up making costly decisions. Physically, it produces stress which leads to medical disorders such as ulcers, high blood pressure, headaches etc. Treatment of these conditions can cost thousands of naira in medical bills, financially.

Socially, an angry man is not pleasant to be with as most times, they are bitter, resentful and unbearable. Spiritually, God that created you wants you to be happy and most religion view anger as sin so anger separates one from the presence of God.

Can anyone be trained to remain cool under provocation?

Learn to master your emotions through self awareness. Think before you speak or act. Avoid people and situations that make you angry. Ask God for help.

When one is been provoked, is it possible not to be angry? And when naturally angry under provocation what should be done?

You must get angry at any provocation, it is natural but your ability to manage the anger so that it will not have negative effect is what matters.

l have seen a friend shaking when he gets angry. Can anger be a condition that should be treated?

Under provocation, be rational and not irrational which is dependent on your level of emotional intelligence. If you are highly emotionally intelligent, you can turn the situation around!

If not treated, the effects are unquantifiable as I mentioned earlier. There is a therapy for Anger Management.

Dr. Stella AHUNANYA

How come, anger has not be publicly accepted as a health condition as the way some people react, clearly show they are sick?

Yes, it is a soft skill that is part of emotional intelligence. Security agents are well trained on it.

There are health policies by governments on it but the problem is with the implementation. For instance, there is a policy that leaders should undergo psychological tests but how many will do so and if they do and are found to be psychologically imbalance, who will call them to order? The case will be buried.

Is there anything like “Holy Anger” or “Benign Anger?” Can a “Well-Directed Anger” be beneficial? If anger is toxic, what evolutionary purpose is it serving?

Scientifically, there is no anger that is holy but some religions believe that if one feels a righteous indignation based on the sense of injustice in the face of evil so that God’s will be done, then such anger could be termed holy.

Benign anger doesn’t cause damage as it is not serious or dangerous in outlook. It is more like seething anger that is under control. With time and rational thinking, it can be managed.

A well directed anger can be beneficial as it is directed to the root cause and not a person per say. Most revolutions in history are based on well directed anger.

Not all anger are toxic, an angry situation can help one re-assess the situation positively. Anger can spur one to become an achiever and not a complainant.

Thank you for the questions and I do hope the answers will be satisfactory.

Dr Ahunanya, l would like to thank you for spending time with us today. To members on the platform, many thanks for joining us. Wishing everybody, a great weekend.

Thank you very much for having me.

 

Platforms Africa e-Discourse, is a weekly enlightenment programme organised by Platforms Africa, the leading e-Community of Intellectuals, policy moulders and opinion leaders in the continent created by Adeola Yusuf to fight misinformation. The event is moderated by Accra, Ghana-based veteran Journalist, Mr. Francis KOKUTSE

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