How a Retired Soldier Asked Us to Kill His Son, Lesson For Parents, By Tunji Disu

A retired soldier once stormed into my office, demanding that we kill his son, a university student arrested for cultism. His rage was volcanic.

But the next day, he returned with food, asking after his son. When I joked, “So you don’t want us to kill him again?” his eyes revealed the truth: anger is often the flipside of helpless love.

Years later, I met his son again—now educated, married, and changed. Not because he was jailed, but because his father eventually chose support over abandonment.

Many parents bring their children to us, demanding we “discipline” them:

“Detain him.”

“Torture him.”

As if punishment alone can fix a broken path.

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One father even begged us to keep his drug-addicted son in custody for weeks. But cells are not rehabilitation centres. If something went wrong, who would he blame? The police.

The issue isn’t a lack of discipline—it’s a lack of presence. Parents now hand their duties to teachers, police, and social workers, but no institution can replace a parent’s guidance.

If your child commits a crime, come to us—we will help. But don’t surrender your role as a parent.

We enforce laws, but we cannot replace love.

We investigate crimes, but we cannot teach values.

The police cannot replace your voice.

Our cells are not classrooms; handcuffs are not parenting tools.

Our parents weren’t perfect, but they owned their role as first teachers.

Today’s parents must do the same—not with harshness, but with wisdom and love.

Tunji Disu is an Assistant Inspector General (AIG) of Police

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