“Squat To Poop If You Can, Science backs it up. Your body was never designed to sit on a porcelain chair to poop.” You want to read details of the survey presented at Digestive Diseases Week 2025 that brought our dirty little secret into the medical spotlight
We get it. You bring your phone to the bathroom because it’s the only place left where nobody can bother you. You scroll through TikTok, have some me-time or play a quick game… except “quick” turns into ten minutes, and suddenly your legs are numb and your business still isn’t done. Bad news, friend: that cozy little phone break on the toilet is increasing your risk of developing hemorrhoids. Dramatically.
Yes, the same device that delivers your memes is also quietly working against your rear end.
The study that called out our collective scrolling
A recent survey presented at Digestive Diseases Week 2025 brought our dirty little secret into the medical spotlight.
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Researchers studied the toilet habits of 125 patients scheduled for colonoscopies. Not surprisingly, 93% admitted to using their phone on the toilet regularly.
Coincidentally, Phone users had a 46% higher chance of developing hemorrhoids than those who didn’t use their phones in the bathroom. And no, it wasn’t about diet, age, or fitness. The common thread was how long people stayed seated while being hypnotized by their screens.
If you’re thinking, “That can’t be me,” let us guess—you’re reading this on the toilet right now, aren’t you?
Why sitting too long is a pain in the… well, you know
Sitting on the toilet for too long (especially in a slumped position) puts pressure on the veins around your rectum and anus. This pressure makes those veins swell, twist, and sometimes even bleed. Voilà: hemorrhoids.
The human body’s not designed to chill on the toilet. It’s designed to get in, get out, and move on. But when your attention is trapped in the vortex of endless scrolling, you end up sticking around far longer than your colon ever wanted.
In case you’re still not convinced this is serious, consider this bit of rock ‘n roll history. Elvis Presley died in his bathroom, reportedly while on the toilet. The official cause was a heart attack, but the deeper truth is less glamorous: chronic constipation, drug use, and severe straining played a huge part.
So yeah, death by toilet isn’t just an urban myth. Sitting there too long, for whatever reason, can lead to real health problems. Hemorrhoids may not be fatal, but they’re definitely uncomfortable, often painful, and a total nuisance to treat.
Five ways to get in and out of the bathroom like a champ
Look, you don’t need to cut bathroom time like a F1 pit stop, but you should aim to keep it under five minutes. Here are some strategies to make it possible:
Leave the phone outside. Not on the counter. Not in your pocket. Outside. If you are desperate, read your shampoo’s ingredients.
Answer nature’s call. Don’t wait until you’re bursting. The longer you delay, the harder your stool becomes. And hard stool equals more time and more straining.
Elevate your feet. Use a small stool (like a Squatty Potty) to raise your knees above hip level. This puts you in a squatting posture, which straightens out your rectum and helps everything move along more smoothly.
Don’t force it. If nothing’s happening, don’t push. Just try again later. You’re not in a tug-of-war with your intestines.
Fiber, water, and walking. The best long-term fix is to keep your digestive system running like a well-oiled machine. Eat more fruits and veggies, stay hydrated, and move your body daily.
Squatting: the ancient hack that still works
Believe it or not, your body was never designed to sit on a porcelain chair to poop. In most of human history —and still in many parts of the world—people squat to go. And science backs it up. Squatting naturally relaxes your pelvic floor, reduces strain, and helps eliminate waste more efficiently.
Countries like Japan, India, and Turkey still use squat toilets in public restrooms. And while it might seem awkward to Westerners, it’s actually one of the healthiest ways to go. You don’t need to tear out your toilet and go full caveman, but a $20 footstool can do wonders.
So next time you head into the bathroom, leave the phone behind. Get in, get out, and give your behind the respect it deserves. Your rectum —and your future self— will thank you.
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