Tag: Funke Egbemode

NLNG Commemorates Media Excellence, Bestows N5m Award on Journalist

Ganiyu Amodu

…. as Odeh announces introduction of the NLNG prize for Energy reporting   The Nigeria Liquefied Natural Gas (NLNG) management honored Prisca Sam-Duru of Vanguard Newspaper with a sum of N5 million on Friday. She was recognized for writing NLNG stories for prizes in literature and science over the last two decades. Speaking at the event, NLNG General Manager, External Relation and Sustainable Development, Andy Odeh stated that the award is meant to celebrate media professionals for telling the NLNG stories. The event was tagged, “Celebrating the voices of impact…

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When Your Son-In-Law Beats Your Daughter, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

Daisy was born beautiful. Her mother received her with misty eyes. Her father felt so proud. After three boys, Manny was beginning to doubt his ability to make a female baby. And now along came Daisy from his loins. He’s a complete man, after all. Right? There was so much to eat and drink at the naming ceremony of Daisy. She got a name from every member of the family. Quite a list, but the one that stuck was the one her paternal grandmother gave her, Gift. Mama had five…

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It’s Just Sex, Nothing More, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

Sometimes, a woman is just a glorified call girl, “olosho” , but she tells herself she’s in a relationship. She calls a man her boyfriend while he sees her as just a booty call. She believes she has a man in her life while the man sees her as just one of the girls in his life. She invests her time and body in the ‘relationship’ while the man treats her a little bit better than a prostitute. She’s the one that is all over him just like chocolate melts…

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When You Miss Your Step, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

She has lost two children. One via miscarriage, the other through still-birth. They just couldn’t afford basic medical-care. So, when she gave birth to her son, she was not just over the moon, she vowed to protect him with her life. She told herself she would breastfeed him for 18months and work as hard as she could to give him a great life. However, fate had other plans. Tola’s breasts, as full as they were couldn’t produce enough milk to feed her son. She ate, drank everything that was prescribed…

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Girl, Your Sweet Thing Won’t Always Be Sweet, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

A playboy can play the field forever or till his penis drops off, or whichever one comes first. A playgirl? No, she must retire quickly, indeed, before everyone notices what she does for a living. A playgirl, a runs-girl, a courtesan or a high class call girl must know when to stop. Only dumb girls play the field endlessly. Is any playgirl reading this? Or is someone reading this who knows a playgirl? Pull her ears and tell her to pull back. A girl is expected to be cool and…

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Unexpected Pregnancies, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

One of the things I find most wondrous about God is the way He distributes children. Oh yes, I’m a Christian and I strongly believe that God is the “giver” of children. I do not believe that even IVF can work without God’s say-so. Ask the gynaecologists, they will tell you. Even they cannot explain why some couples have to try IVF five times while others are successful at the first attempt. Let’s even assume that you are a scientist and you have answers to the IVF question, can you…

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Why Don’t Men Like Men’s World Again?, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

There is a way men want the world to work and that is the way they have skewed it since the Garden of Eden… You wanted us in the kitchen, we stayed there. You wanted us in za ozza room, we stayed there. You wanted us to be seen and not heard, we obeyed. You wanted many wives and concubines, we bore it all. What exactly are we being blamed for, please?     Which one of you started this new campaign of ‘women enslaving men’ again? I have been…

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The Juicy Power of The Other Room, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

How smart can you claim to be if you clean a gun for hours, load it with bullets, cock it and then you let him go shoot it somewhere else? Babe, you are all the shooting range he needs.   The other room is the most important room in the home and in any woman’s life. Every woman knows that. So, don’t mind those who are pretending to be holier than the sacred sanctuary. It’s okay to have powers in and over the other rooms, but a woman who does…

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INTIMATE AFFAIRS: Married Not For Love, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

“I had this male colleague who loves women with big natural boobs. Each time he see a woman with major ‘Manchester’ front –loads, his eyes threaten to pop out of their sockets. Indeed, he becomes incoherent. Yeah, it is that bad. Meanwhile, his wife of 16 years is beautiful but boob-less. So why did he marry a woman without boobs when he loves them stacked? Kola’s explanation was an eye opener.”   It is not every marriage that is founded on love, not every married person who married for love.…

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What’s Your Daughter-in-law Spec?, By Funke Egbemode

ADEOLA YUSUF

It was one of our girls’ hang-out evenings, our special ‘cult’ outings where we let down our hair and say things we would never say when a man is within earshot. We also join hands and pray and fast when we have to ‘bandy’ together against any bandit problem. But this particular episode was just about wine, smoothies and barbecue and pulling one another’s legs. Then Mobola announced to the girls that her son, Ope, had just told her he thought Mimi was the one. In other words, after foraging…

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