Abuse goes beyond slapping your spouse around. It is unfair to isolate a woman so you can play God in her life. You cannot take a maid. I cannot live with a maid. We will not employ a maid. If the man you are considering spending the rest of your life with is a man who is allergic to maids and househelps in any form, you need to pause and take a second look at your shopping list. Are you the kind of woman who can do without a…
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It is rare to find all four in one husband. Sometimes you find two in one man and unless God helps the couple, that marriage is doomed. These sins hurt and scar women. The men who commit them also suffer from deep-seated issues. The children bear the scars for life, oftentimes carrying them into their own marriages. Fortunately, they are sins, not incurable diseases. Let’s do a quick check. 1. The mean landlords This is the husband who bullies and threatens his wife with quit notice at every turn. Here…
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“… Lest the issue become ‘Ao mu Erin j’oba eweku ewele’ tales,” read-for-yourself letter the top Lagos politician wrote to Osun’s ex-commissioner and distinguished columnist over her “Lagos: Mr. Governor, This Sacrifice Must Get To Olodumare.” Dear Ms. Funke Egbemode, Profound Appreciation for Your Courageous Voice and Timely Admonition I write to you with deep admiration and gratitude for your incisive, thought-provoking piece, “Lagos: Mr. Governor, This Sacrifice Must Get To Olodumare.” Your words resonate not merely as commentary but as a clarion call for introspection, reconciliation, and…
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I don’t think those who do not believe in the long haul should bother us with the wedding invitation cards and the fanfare. Weddings do not make marriages. One man, three, four wives, and a strong home, a marriage that lasted till the end of their lives. How did our grandmothers and great-grandmothers do it? How did they cope with the sleep roasters, sharing their men’s affection, attention and bodies? Didn’t they ever get jealous, feel betrayed when the men they love bring in new women? Wait, did they…
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For many years, women were held responsible for men not living to ripe old ages. Grieving women were subjected to the most inhuman cultural or traditional widowhood rites which I insist point to the backwardness and wickedness of those who inflict them. I mean, what kind of woman forces a fellow woman who had just lost her husband to drink the water used to bathe a corpse? My friends, if your mother had ever participated in doing this evil to another woman, go and pray, so that God will not…
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One of the things I find most wondrous about God is the way He distributes children. Oh yes, I’m a Christian and I strongly believe that God is the ‘giver’ of children. I do not believe that even IVF can work without God’s say-so. Ask the gynaecologists, they will tell you. Even they cannot explain why some couples have to try IVF five times while others are successful at the first attempt. Let’s even assume that you are a scientist and you have answers to the IVF question, can you…
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Do women pretend when looking for a husband material? Well, the truth is they do. Do men do the same? You bet. We are all in the game, unfortunately. We all seem to have pasts that are as long as from Lagos to Gombe and so there is so much to hide. And we all want to hide them. But if you ask me, men encourage the pretext and the lies. A man who has taken 10 maidenheads wants to marry a virgin. Why shouldn’t there be girls who will…
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So, aunty, your grandchildren being born as Canadian or American citizens is not all you should consider. Think of all the angles and scenarios. Tell your son to have investments back home in Nigeria in case, God forbid, he has to return and restart his life to save his sanity. After 15 years in the US, Bolaji returned to Nigeria, alone with only what can fit into his suitcases. He returned without a wife, his two children. He was not deported. His marriage failed. His wife got custody of…
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“Seriously though, if a man is hiding out on prayer mountains for eight months, avoiding his wife’s bed and bosom, it is safe to assume that his matchbox is wet. A wet matchbox will have wet matchsticks. Wet matchsticks can’t produce sparks, least of all light a fire.” Today I’m worried about men of God, wet matchboxes and the fire at the base of the mountains of pastors’ wives. I’m worried about pastors who leave their wives’ needs unattended in the name of doing God’s work. A pastor’s wife…
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Tinu, Tola and Rita have been friends for about 20 years. They all started small but God has been kind to them. Their marriages are still intact too. So, we can safely say that they are lucky or blessed. That is not to say they have not had seasons that looked like God was not on their side. Tinu lost two precious pregnancies. Rita lost one of two sons and Tola had to wait 10 years for a second child. As for their marriages, the storms came. Rita’s husband went…
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