Funke Egbemode – Platformsafrica

Accidental Pregnancies, By Funke Egbemode

March 22, 2025 Funke Egbemode

One of the things I find most wondrous about God is the way He distributes children. Oh yes, I’m a Christian and I strongly believe that God is the ‘giver’ of children. I do not believe that even IVF can work without God’s say-so. Ask the gynaecologists, they will tell you. Even they cannot explain why some couples have to try IVF five times while others are successful at the first attempt. Let’s even assume that you are a scientist and you have answers to the IVF question, can you…

Problem With The Whole Truth, By Funke Egbemode

March 8, 2025 Funke Egbemode

Do women pretend when looking for a husband material? Well, the truth is they do. Do men do the same? You bet. We are all in the game, unfortunately. We all seem to have pasts that are as long as from Lagos to Gombe and so there is so much to hide. And we all want to hide them. But if you ask me, men encourage the pretext and the lies. A man who has taken 10 maidenheads wants to marry a virgin. Why shouldn’t there be girls who will…

Is Your Son Married To A ‘Citizen’?, By Funke Egbemode

February 22, 2025February 22, 2025 Funke Egbemode

So, aunty, your grandchildren being born as Canadian or American citizens is not all you should consider. Think of all the angles and scenarios. Tell your son to have investments back home in Nigeria in case, God forbid, he has to return and restart his life to save his sanity. After 15 years in the US, Bolaji returned to Nigeria, alone with only what can fit into his suitcases. He returned without a wife, his two children. He was not deported. His marriage failed. His wife got custody of…

Sex, Pastors And Pastors’ Wives, By Funke Egbemode

January 26, 2025 Funke Egbemode

“Seriously though, if a man is hiding out on prayer mountains for eight months, avoiding his wife’s bed and bosom, it is safe to assume that his matchbox is wet. A wet matchbox will have wet matchsticks. Wet matchsticks can’t produce sparks, least of all light a fire.” Today I’m worried about men of God, wet matchboxes and the fire at the base of the mountains of pastors’ wives. I’m worried about pastors who leave their wives’ needs unattended in the name of doing God’s work. A pastor’s wife…

Deadly Wish, By Funke Egbemode

January 11, 2025 Funke Egbemode

Tinu, Tola and Rita have been friends for about 20 years. They all started small but God has been kind to them. Their marriages are still intact too. So, we can safely say that they are lucky or blessed. That is not to say they have not had seasons that looked like God was not on their side. Tinu lost two precious pregnancies. Rita lost one of two sons and Tola had to wait 10 years for a second child. As for their marriages, the storms came. Rita’s husband went…

From My Crystal Ball, By Funke Egbemode

January 4, 2025 Funke Egbemode

It is the fourth day of the year. It’s an opportunity to do something new, refocus your life and do things differently. This is the best time to look back, nod or shake your head, depending on what you see. Was 2024 a year you’ll like to do again what you did or is 2025 a year you are determined to change some things? This is the first Saturday of the year. You probably are not at work. Spend today to process where you were in 2024 and plot where…

NLNG Commemorates Media Excellence, Bestows N5m Award on Journalist

October 5, 2024 Ganiyu Amodu

…. as Odeh announces introduction of the NLNG prize for Energy reporting The Nigeria Liquefied Natural Gas (NLNG) management honored Prisca Sam-Duru of Vanguard Newspaper with a sum of N5 million on Friday. She was recognized for writing NLNG stories for prizes in literature and science over the last two decades. Speaking at the event, NLNG General Manager, External Relation and Sustainable Development, Andy Odeh stated that the award is meant to celebrate media professionals for telling the NLNG stories. The event was tagged, “Celebrating the voices of impact…

When Your Son-In-Law Beats Your Daughter, By Funke Egbemode

September 28, 2024 ADEOLA YUSUF

Daisy was born beautiful. Her mother received her with misty eyes. Her father felt so proud. After three boys, Manny was beginning to doubt his ability to make a female baby. And now along came Daisy from his loins. He’s a complete man, after all. Right? There was so much to eat and drink at the naming ceremony of Daisy. She got a name from every member of the family. Quite a list, but the one that stuck was the one her paternal grandmother gave her, Gift. Mama had five…

It’s Just Sex, Nothing More, By Funke Egbemode

September 21, 2024September 21, 2024 ADEOLA YUSUF

Sometimes, a woman is just a glorified call girl, “olosho” , but she tells herself she’s in a relationship. She calls a man her boyfriend while he sees her as just a booty call. She believes she has a man in her life while the man sees her as just one of the girls in his life. She invests her time and body in the ‘relationship’ while the man treats her a little bit better than a prostitute. She’s the one that is all over him just like chocolate melts…

When You Miss Your Step, By Funke Egbemode

August 10, 2024 ADEOLA YUSUF

She has lost two children. One via miscarriage, the other through still-birth. They just couldn’t afford basic medical-care. So, when she gave birth to her son, she was not just over the moon, she vowed to protect him with her life. She told herself she would breastfeed him for 18months and work as hard as she could to give him a great life. However, fate had other plans. Tola’s breasts, as full as they were couldn’t produce enough milk to feed her son. She ate, drank everything that was prescribed…